Poised On The Cusp of a Dream
by Droxy
Summary: ‘While You Were Sleeping’ challenge on GrangerSnape100 LJ. Severus uses dark magic to summon Hermione from the veil without understanding the repercussions, but events after help SS heal. Story now in longer chapter format. Ch18 I Wish to Wake in Your Dre
1. Default Chapter

Challenge: #9 'While You Were Sleeping' 100 Word Challenge from GrangerSnape100 Live Journal

Authors Notes: Author's Notes: Small tiny bunnies nibble at me and toss me phrases. Some are scenes from longer stories that live in my head. Snape's POV here.

Title:** Poised on the Cusp of a Dream**

They tell me she is sleeping, but they lie.

Alas, it is sad euphemism fitting the moment.

So lovely is my Hermione in eternal slumber, surrounded by white satin.

I wonder is she waiting en pointe, poised on the cusp of a dream.

I cannot accept, or fathom her existence now.

Her reaper-bridegroom has jealously stolen her away to join with the energy of the universe.

She beckons me from across the veil, in my quiet existence.

Yet I cannot go, for I am bound here. Perhaps, when I sleep, I will be poised on the cusp of her dream.


	2. The Dark Magic of a Heart Calling

Challenge: Mind Your Own Business Challenge on grangersnape100 Live Journal

Authors Notes: No money made, but lots of time wasted. Companion to "Poised on the Cusp of a Dream"

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**Title: The Dark Magic of a Heart Calling**

Albus Dumbledore had to locate his Potions Master on Samhain Eve, and after many years he knew where to look.

The room was dark except for one lone candle when he arrived.

The object of his search stood at the precipice of the archway, his long fingers caressing the soft ancient fabric of the veil.

Sensing a presence in the darkness, Severus whispered, "Hermione forgive me, I must..."

Albus felt the dark magic of the heart calling spell.

"Severus?"

"Mind your own business, Albus," spoke Snape solemnly.

A hand squeezed gently on the black clad shoulder, "Not this time Severus."


	3. A Return to Hogwarts

Authors Notes: No money made, but lots of time wasted. Companion to "Poised on the Cusp of a Dream"

**Title: A Return to Hogwarts**

Albus transported them into his office.

"Forgive me Severus, but I do not believe you fully understand the ramifications of your actions."

"Understand?" Snape said bitterly. "Yes, I understand any method bringing her back is preferable to the constant emptiness. If her ghostly companionship is all I can gain then so be it!"

Snape turned in a swirl of robes to leave but was not fast enough for the old codger.

Albus received an angry glare while pushing Snape gently onto a settee.

"I know someone you must meet who has first hand experience in these matters," said Albus gently.


	4. A Past Revealed

Authors Notes: No money made, but lots of time wasted. Companion to "Poised on the Cusp of a Dream." Exactly 100 words.

**Title: A Past Revealed**

The ethereal mist of the Grey Lady appeared near the fireplace blocking the warmth, her melancholy smothering the two wizards.

"Perhaps my dear," stated Albus," will you do us the kindness of telling us the circumstances of your death?"

The spirit floated around the men, her detached voice lilting softly, "my death was rather ordinary. I was pregnant with our first child, who died in the womb. Montague tried every magic, but within days I succumbed to the blood poisoning."

The ghost gestured towards Snape, "Is he one I am here for?"

Albus rested a hand on Snape's back, "yes."

**Author's Notes:**

Duj- I have never read the Narnia series. However, the golden apples of Greek mythology are said to bring immortality.


	5. 5 Questions

Authors Notes: No money made, but lots of time wasted. Companion to "Poised on the Cusp of a Dream." Exactly 100 words.

**Title: Questions**

"Tell me," asked the Grey Lady pondering the wizard in black, "Did you cast the spell?"

"I did," replied Snape tracking her form floating over the desk.

The spirit nodded, "I am not surprised. Your consciousness walks within the cusp of a dream, searching and weeping for something lost. So strong is your search, it is not unnoticed."

Snape's unemotional face met the gaze of the Grey Lady, who now focused on the Headmaster.

So soft was her voice as she spoke, "Odd, is it not? The men always calling for their mates and the mothers calling for their children."


	6. Someone Else Calls

Authors Notes: No money made, but lots of time wasted. Companion to "Poised on the Cusp of a Dream." Exactly 100 words. Thank you for your reviews. This is one of my first plot driven fics, and they do not go through a beta.

**Title: Someone Else Calls**

The three remained in silence for several minutes, the men watching the spirit who looked up to the ceiling.

Closing her eyes she continued, "I felt the rupture in veil."

She screamed the mournful haunting wail of her legend. Snape's eyes widened as pearly iridescent tears streamed down her face.

"Gods! - I heard his voice!" she painfully cried. Her hands smothering her face with unrestrained misery. "My love, he still calls! He has no peace!" she heaved breathlessly.

"Damn him and damn you for what you have both done!"

Dumbledore looked to his clasped hands, wishing there was an alternative.


	7. 7 Who is Judge and Jury?

Authors Notes: No money made, but lots of time wasted. JKR owns it all. Exactly 100 words. Thank you for your reviews. This is one of my first plot driven fics, and they do not go through a beta. I will finish this fic.

**Title: Who is Judge and Jury?**

The overwhelming grief emitted by the Gray Lady was renewing the painful broken emptiness in Severus Snape's being. Dumbledore was loosing his calm demeanor. Fawkes started singing, bringing strength to the living, and none too soon as Snape leapt from the settee the rush of air fluttering his cloak.

"I will not sit here and be judged by a ghost!" growled Snape, seeking escape from the room. Albus grasped those dark clad shoulders and spun him around.

"Ghost?" stated the spirit bitterly, "Is that what you think? The ghosts only accept my presence because we share one thing in common."


	8. 8 Ghosts

Authors Notes: No money made, but lots of time wasted. Companion to "Poised on the Cusp of a Dream." Exactly 100 words. Thank you for your reviews. This is one of my first plot driven fics, and they do not go through a beta.

**Title: Ghosts**

She drifted closer speaking condescendingly to the men making them shiver from the despair and the cold.

"The ghosts tolerate me because they understand the curse of being an earth bound spirit, tied to dimensions of time and place. I sense the universe very differently from ghosts, who do not feel. However, ghosts can choose to leave if they desire. Despite their complaining they are unwilling to heed my advice. So strongly they cling to the remnants of their lives that they are oblivious to the pull of the veil. Others, when they get weary succumb gladly and move on."


	9. 9 I know What I Am

Authors Notes: No money made, but lots of time wasted. Exactly 100 words. Thank you for your kind reviews. This is one of my first plot driven fics, and they do not go through a beta.

**Title: I Know What I Am**

She barked a caustic laugh, "Oh no, I am no ghost! The fates did not bequeath me such grace, for I am - a cursed soul, cursed by my hearts love."

Snape wrenched his shoulders from Dumbledore's grip turning towards the man. He dreaded what the spirit might reveal but his stony demeanor could not hide his eyes from the elder. "Sir, I beseech you to let me leave immediately. You said to ask anything of you and I have not for countless years, not until now. Do not make me relive everything so my only wish is to die."


	10. 10 Preparing

Authors Notes: No money made, but lots of time wasted. Companion to "Poised on the Cusp of a Dream." Exactly 100 words. Thank you for your reviews. This is one of my first plot driven fics. Let me know how the story goes.

**Title: Preparing**

Dumbledore closed his eyes from the torment, loneliness, grief, anger, and love he felt skirting the black depths of his dear protégé, "I cannot Severus; she has bound the office until she believes you understand. I am here for you only, and she has more to divulge I fear."

Snape stiffened heaving himself into a chair preparing as if anticipating a meeting with the long dispatched Dark Lord, who was preferable to the Grey Lady. He thought she was preparing for the most unforgivable of all.

"I estimate it took him 20 years to find the spell," she continued hauntingly.


	11. 11 Montague

Authors Notes: No money made, but lots of time wasted. Companion to "Poised on the Cusp of a Dream." Exactly 100 words. Thank you for your reviews. This is one of my first plot driven fics. Let me know how the story goes.

**Title: Montague**

"During those twenty years Montague dwelled upon my passing forgoing a life he should have lived and withholding the love he should have shared. Montague must have traveled for days to the ancient location of the veil; it possessed more power there than it does now. Then I felt the undeniable force of his heart calling pulling on my soul. I had to ease his pain and loneliness," she relayed.

"We were so happy together for eighty years." She paused to stare at the Potions Master.

"The horror of my existence began the day my Montague died," she cried hoarsely


	12. 12 Mistake

Authors Notes: No money made, but lots of time wasted. Companion to "Poised on the Cusp of a Dream." Exactly 100 words. Thank you for your reviews. This is my first plot driven fic, and my personal favorite. Let me know how the story goes.

**Title: A Mistake**

The ghost started pleading frantically. "He did not stay! He could not. He did not understand what the curse did. The curse exchanges time in the present at the cost of time eternal."

Severus Snape aged ten years. He rubbed his horror stricken face with his hands stammering through his fingers, "my God! What have I done?"

The Grey Lady shifted restlessly about the room. "I do not know what you have done," she replied plaintively. "I have not felt another like me join this realm. Perhaps you are more blessed than I, and made a mistake during the spell."


	13. 13 Someone Heard

Authors Notes: No money made, but lots of time wasted. Companion to "Poised on the Cusp of a Dream." Exactly 100 words. This is one of my first plot driven fics. Let me know how the story goes. Acadia Elle- if I am successful with crafting this fic I will reach down and wrench that heart from your chest. I want to than all of you who read this fic, it is not the most popular but it is my favorite and the most difficult.

**Title: Someone Heard**

Snape's sad edgy voice answered, "I did not make a mistake. I carefully researched all of it."

Dumbledore's stood behind Snape, laying his hands upon the slumped shoulders of his Potions Master.

"You are correct Severus; you did not make a mistake. However, I managed to block the final sequence of your heart calling summons."

Silence reigned for several minutes, broken only by Snape's hoarse whisper of "thank you."

The Grey Lady floated closer to Snape. "You are fortunate to have such a caring guardian. But heed my words Wizard, for the one you seek has heard your hearts' call.


	14. 14 She is Poised

Authors Notes: No money made, but lots of time wasted. Companion to "Poised on the Cusp of a Dream." Exactly 100 words. Thank you for your reviews. This is one of my first plot driven fics. I may convert from serial drabble format for this fic, because I am not getting points for them on live journal. HBP has totally made this fic AU, but I am going to continue it.

**She is Poised-**

The feminine ghost's lilting voice drifted away in the distance. "She is close at hand and exists poised between the universe and the living world. Her highly ordered mind is just now comprehending her station, and her concern for you is deep and unfathomable."

The air lightened within Albus office, the warmth of the fire welcome against the chilly robes of the two men.

Snape felt emotionally drained and tired.

Albus extended his arm towards the door, his smile wan. "Walk with me Severus; I could certainly use the company."

Snape acquiesced easily; he did not feel like arguing anymore.


	15. Paths Walked in Time

Disclaimer and Notes: JKR owns it all. No money made, but lots of time wasted. I am converting from serial drabble format for this fic, welcome to my first attempts at long fic. I have no beta, all mistakes are mine, all mine.

**Title: Paths Walked in Time**

The two wizards glided silently down the torch lit halls, descending the moving stairways and past the portraits whispering secrets in the shadows.

Snape wondered why Albus led them to the kitchens; he certainly did not feel like eating.

All the bustling activity ceased in the warm brightly lit room when they entered. It was rare for the Headmaster to visit the kitchens let alone with the dour Head of Slytherin House.

Dumbledore spoke kindly, "there there now, no need for alarm. I am merely here to get a couple of baskets of discarded toast from this morning's breakfast." As soon as the words were spoken elfin chaos broke loose again.

Dobby came forward toddling beneath a basket of stale toast so large you could only see his gaudily decked feet. Another elf, a little shorter than dobby placed a basket at Severus' feet then dashed away.

"This food is not good Sir! Dobby can get you something much better," squeaked the elf firmly.

"Oh my," replied Albus smiling, "this is not for us. But thank you anyway."

Dumbledore's mind seemed to be someplace else as he gestured towards his friend. "Let us go for our walk now."

The chilly night air was comfortably crisp and dry; the wispy white puffs of breath from the wizards the only mar against the clarity of the air.

Snape looked up at the glittering spectacle of the Milky Way. His thoughts drifted to Hermione, she loved looking at the stars. Each mindless step he took on the well traveled trail was another step in life without her. He recalled a picnic she organized and how he did not want to go but was glad he did. She surprised him with a kiss in exchange for the last crisp.

The same path that led him to that fond memory was also a trail of sorrow. He remembered a darker day traveling the same October path finding her crying by the lake. It was the day she told him she was dying.

Snape halted in his tracks choking on the wave of fresh grief, his voice heavy and bitter announcing forward into the darkness, "I see no point in any of this. Where are you leading us?"

But the response came from behind as a warm hand clasped his elbow edging him forward. "I am not leading us anywhere Severus. It is you who chose this trail," commented Albus quietly as if not to disturb the night.

"I thought you were ahead of me since leaving the castle," he replied mirroring the hushed tone of the older man.

"It appears we are being led by whatever means and perhaps we should follow through," counseled Albus, who chucked adding a request. "Humor an old man Severus. I've brought this toast to feed the squid before the freeze and it would unkind not to fulfill my task."


	16. Toasting Life

Disclaimer and Notes: JKR owns it all. No money made, but lots of time wasted. I am converting from serial drabble format for this fic, welcome to my first attempts at long fic. I have no beta, all mistakes are mine, all mine. Not slash.

**Title: Toasting Life**

The two wizards walked in silence until reaching the stony shores of the loch protecting the north side of the castle, the waters smooth and dark as obsidian glass reflecting the night sky.

"Well we are finally here," stated Albus breaking the solemn moment by abruptly setting his basket of toast on the ground. "You will need to grab a slice Severus, I am sure the squid is quite hungry," he announced lightly.

Severus numbly complied, snatching a pale piece of stale bread as Albus reached into his pile pulling a nicely browned slice.

"Toast is an interesting food is it not?" Albus commented more than questioned as he flung the bread upon the waters watching it skip twice then float upon the surface of the lake.

Severus frowned answering the inane announcement disdainfully, "it is an adequate sustenance, cheap, plentiful, and by the accounts of these baskets a waste since its usefulness is rather short."

"Correct on all accounts but one," retorted Dumbledore cheerfully. "It is not a waste, see for yourself," he spoke as a tentacle rose above the water snatching the food.

Snape fingered his toast slightly flinging it so it too skipped across the waters.

"Excellent throw!" exclaimed Albus merrily, "I do believe you have the knack for this."

Albus reached low into the basket, pulling out an almost white slice. "It is interesting, toast that is. It reminds me of alchemy in many ways."

Snape reached into his basket pulling out several burned pieces of bread, anything to hurry the task along feeling his patience tested due to the weariness of the night's events. He began aggressively flinging the toast in rapid succession.

"Yes! That's the way. You are a natural if I say so myself!" Albus proclaimed to the lake.

"Where was I, forgive me Severus, oh yes Alchemy. I remember long ago that a magical fire could temper materials and alter them, change them for better or worse. It is not unlike the oven that tempers the bread, caramelizing the starches to form the toast. Would you agree?" enquired Albus gesturing with a slice of toast twiddling between his ancient fingers.

Severus glared toward an uncaring lake biting back a nasty retort. "I fully understand the principles of Alchemy and have for some time. Hermione loved discussing-" and he heaved another slice of hardened bread onto the lake trying to bury another memory.

Albus voice lowered a bit. "Of course, of course," he muttered sincerely while glancing at the bitter grimace of his companion slinging toast. Reaching into his robe Albus retrieved a citron and popped it into his mouth knowing Severus would never stop grieving for Hermione but perhaps the young wizard could adjust and live with the memories constructively; he feared his companion might be tempted to embark on another drastic unthinkable step.

The elder continued twirling the barely toasted slice of bread in his hands, as Snape's attention focused on the intense concentration Albus directed towards it.

Blue concerned eyes rose to meet black ones guarding an inner sadness. "This slice of toast," Albus commented evenly, "is quite pale because it never had the opportunity to be exposed to enough heat to achieve perfect balance as toast."

Albus bent over rummaging though the basket; upon finding one fully carbonized he held it up for inspection. "This unfortunate slice was over exposed to the ravages of the oven, rending it inconsumable. It's a pity really; it could have been salvaged if caught early enough."

Severus already gathered his fourth stack from his basket when Albus snatched perfectly tanned slice away from his hands and waved the slice under Severus' large hooked nose. "Ah now this slice is perfection, forged to enhance its flavor into a rich yet crunchy texture. Yet for all its perfection, the goal of being breakfast for a hungry student is gone forever. Probably because its perfection was never seen and that's the true loss for this toast."

Severus' dark eyes glittered grabbing the toast from the elder and promptly tossing the bread over his shoulder into the lake, the action causing the headmaster to cock an amused silvery eyebrow at him.

"Severus, Severus," sighed Albus, "always to the point," he continued warmly as he gathered and armload of bread and turned to face the squid now eagerly sculling close to the surface near the shoreline.

The old man's shaking hand flicked several slices at the squid, its tentacles reaching out catching pieces as they splashed against the surface.

"I am feeling very old Severus," stated Dumbledore softly. "How many people have crossed our paths these many years that represent the contents of these baskets? I would classify Tom Riddle as burnt toast. I often wonder if there was anything I could have done to prevent his decent into evil. So damaged are they that they cannot see the light of life. Their souls and hearts turning their lives and those around them into bitter lumps, hardened like black carbonized bread."

Snape instantly retorted his voice low but firm, "you were not responsible, I saw what he was."

Albus waved his hand dismissively, "I am fortunate you are so forgiving, Severus."

"Headmaster-" interjected Snape.

"Perhaps a conversation at another time," responded Albus a bit quickly the subtle brittleness exposed by the higher pitch of his voice.

"So many others, too many I daresay never live the fulfilling lives they should. They cling to the status quo fearing the possibility of profound success or failure. If only they would face the fire of life for just a moment, they would transform the pale slices of their existence into something wonderful and golden. It is every person you see lacking vitality, stuck in a routine they cannot escape from, merely existing."

Severus stopped his actions, observing the elder dropping his head to the ground only to lift it to gaze upon the stars, searching for answers or absolution.

Albus sucked in a deep breath, speaking slowly and gently with a voice sporadically cracking from emotion. "You and Hermione gave each other a full life, despite the short time she was here. She…she once told me…how happy she was with you…the depths of the love you shared. She would not want you to throw that life, that love away. She said when you shared your heart your soul would shine bringing out the best of who you are." Albus paused. "Even this simple sharing of life with the squid reaps rewards for the soul by lovingly connecting us to others within our influence."

The sounds of dry bread plopping gently onto moist earth were all Albus heard in reply. Severus turned to face the lake, eyes closed as tears coursed freely down his face. A slight breeze lifted the fine strands of his hair as the familiar feminine voice within his mind spoke resolutely, "it is all true Severus, and it has always been true."

Severus' body shook slightly as the grief contained within his heart finally broke free, pouring forth unbounded and uncontrolled like any substance held under pressure for far too long a time.

The indeterminable minutes stretched for Albus also lost in renewed grief for both his potions master and Hermione. His ancient hand clasping tightly around Severus' heavily cloaked shoulder, its touch acknowledged only by a nod for the discussion was now beyond spoken words.

Severus felt drained but oddly comforted, a sensation not felt in many years. The hand on his shoulder slipped away but returned urging toast into his open hand. Snape looked down upon the slice; he did not need to question it anymore and lightly flipped it towards the waiting squid.


	17. 17 God's Simple Creatures

_Disclaimer and Notes:_ JKR owns it all. No money made, but lots of time wasted. I am converting from serial drabble format for this fic, welcome to my first attempts at long fic.

I have a beta now, the lovely Acadia Elle, who authored 'The Incident in the Great Hall', (A very romantic fic with fantastic kissing in my opinion). It is located here on FFN. The mistakes are still all mine.

_Other Notes-_ This is my favorite fic above all that I write. I love my 'poised fans', because you are here reading for the same reason I write it.

**Title: God's Simple Creatures**

The Hogwarts clock tower chimed eleven times when Albus kindly relieved his Potions Master of his appointed nightly rounds, gently reassuring him Professor Vector would take the duty.

Although Severus entered his quarters alone, the room was not empty of life for upon his entrance a ginger colored half-kneazle skittered immediately off the forbidden couch situated across from the fire.

Severus did not yell invectives towards the creature this night; he only shook his head silently and placed his cloak gently upon the hook in the foyer.

Crookshanks poked his head from behind the very solid wooden desk he used as a shield against the wizards' wand. His whiskers twitched at the odd behavior exhibited by the dark one he lived with since his mistress' passing. _"How odd?"_ thought the half-feline, "_even the air in the chambers felt different."_ His kneazle curiosity over powered the instinct to hide from the man who could barely tolerate his presence, let alone give or receive affection.

Jumping up on the desk for a better vantage point, the cat's steady gaze met the black glittering eyes of the one his mistress had begged him to keep. The loyalty of the half-kneazle to the witch who loved him could not be denied, despite the desire to abandon the useless excuse of a human she had sentenced him to protect. It was her dying wish and his love for her that bound him to the surly wizard, despite the fact that the wizard held nothing but contempt for him.

The first year without her was the worst. Mourning her loss, Crookshanks wanted solace. However, the black furred wizard could not bear the sight of him, aiming hexes that he always managed to dodge. The situation barely improved as time progressed since the wizard still remained cold and isolated, changed from what he was when they both had the mistress with them.

_"Strange,"_ thought Crookshanks. The master did not draw his wand as expected when he found him on the comfy place. Perhaps the man was ill, but that could not be the case because there were no signs of the sniffling or coughing that afflicted humans.

Severus continued to stare at the cat. He accepted the half-kneazle because Hermione was a package deal that included pets, in-laws, and friends. He would have dumped the creature in the forest had it not been for the fact she made him vow a wizards oath to take care of it; how could he not grant her imploring plea? So he committed to a promise only to get her to rest.

He knew Hermione was getting her affairs in order, but what he didn't realize then was that she would leave him forever two days later. That's when her blasted cat went totally nutters, yowling and running about, scattering its food everywhere, and ripping through her parchments. The cat always sat waiting, waiting, always bloody waiting, for weeks on end, by the door for a companion who would never return.

Snape remembered attempting to blast the creature with his wand, angry towards its vigil of false hope in the foyer. He remembered yelling hoarsely at it, "She's not returning! She's never ever coming home! So stay the hell away from the damn door!" He remembered drinking Ogden's immediately after that episode but didn't remember anything more, just Poppy forcing potions down his throat in the infirmary.

The cat never waited at the door again. He never drank Ogden's again either.

Snape opened the door to their bedroom. The vow he made with Hermione gently clinging to his tired mind. He sat on the edge of the bed and crossed his leg focusing his attention on removing his boot, too fatigued to enchant it off.

Crookshanks shot across the living room entering through the bedroom door and slinking low to floor. Using all his cat stealth he slipped in between the wall and wardrobe with the goal of reaching the dilapidated arm chair Hermione allowed him to sharpen his claws on, and thus she had christened it 'the sacrificial chair'.

The shredded upholstery felt wonderful to Crookshanks as he anchored his front claws deeply into the back of the old chair. He then pulled his body up, and sinking his hind claws into the fabric in one fluid motion propelled himself over the chairs' back to land gracefully on the sunken seat.

Hearing the soft thud from the chair in front of him, Severus flashed a weary glance towards the cat, watching it as it settled into a sphinx position in the hollow of the cushion before he returned his attention to the other boot.

"She made me take an oath to keep you," Severus said quietly. Then grunting, he heaved off the boot and dropped it heavily to the floor. "I do not understand why you are still here. I would have expected you to leave. Potter or another student would have taken you," he commented evenly, resting his forearms across his thighs gazing at the patterns in the rug.

The cat's ears twitched oddly as if to clear them of waxy buildup.

"I have provided you all that you need to survive, but I have the feeling that was not the intent of her request. I…I don't…" Snape sighed wearily, his hand pushing his lank hair way from his face before he stood up to undress.

Crookshanks sensed the wizard's emptiness coupled with a piercing vulnerability, and he worried about the unpredictability of it. An echo of Hermione's voice rang softly in his cat mind. "Severus won't hurt you Crookshanks."

Despite the prickly feeling of his fur, Crookshanks remained steadfast in his chair his yellow eyes never veering off the Potions Master, who was now unbuttoning his robes. Crookshanks remembered happier times when his mistress would do this task often, the dark man petting her curly fur affectionately while she pawed at the buttons.

Snape shrugged out of his heavy robes, causing them to slip down his back and off his arms until they crumpled on the cold stone floor.

"Mistress would have scolded him for that," thought Crookshanks fondly. But sometimes mistress used to remove those protective coverings for the master causing him to hold her tightly and nuzzle her neck like kneazles do to signal mating.

The cat watched sympathetically as Severus shivered while he picked his robe off the floor to deposit it into a basket. Next, the wizard turned to pull open a drawer to grab an old red flannel nightshirt. Crookshanks remembered the master complaining about the color when mistress gave it to him, but it is the only one he wears now.

"I don't expect you to understand," Severus spoke to the bed pulling back the covers. He took a deep breath and sat on the edge of the mattress. "It's just that…you are a constant reminder to me…of her."

Crookshanks ears perked up and his tail began to swish idly, trying to focus on his kneazle instincts.

Their eyes connected as Snape continued, his voice low and slightly faltering, "and I…I suppose we are somewhat something of her legacy. I know she saved you from…being unwanted. She did the same for me, and I…I cannot forget that."

Severus broke his gaze from the cat, his long hair falling forward in curtains as he rested his head upon his left hand, his elbow supported by his left knee. Using a volume just above a whisper he spoke with great longing, "I miss her and I want her…and when I see you it hurts, and I get angry. I never meant to hex you, I just reacted, and I just wanted it all to disappear. Her leaving was not your fault, I know you miss her as well."

Crookshanks dropped silently to the floor; something about the wizard was different. His kneazle senses felt an odd calling emanating from the man and if there was ever a point where the master needed him, it was now.

Snape's right hand now joined the other as he rubbed his face slowly, trying to relieve a hidden pain. "I absolve you of any bond she imposed on you. Oh yes, I am sure she did bond you as you would not have stayed otherwise. But, if you can forgive…"

Severus' speech halted when he felt a paw settle lightly upon his knee, his eyes following the paw up to the open face of Crookshanks. Had the cat really understood?

Snape reached down and collected the cat in his arms; he cradled it gently, and looked upon its face. Then he hesitantly reached up a hand to stroke the soft fur behind the ears until he felt the subtle vibrations of purring coming from deep within the cat. "Pet of my Hermione," they both thought as their comfort finally eased some of their loneliness.


	18. 18 I Wish to Wake in Your Dreams

**Disclaimer and Notes:** JKR owns it all. No money made, but lots of time wasted. I am converting from serial drabble format for this fic, welcome to my first attempts at long fic. Sorry for the long wait, but writing in long format is agonizing and I hope it becomes easier with practice. Proofed and edited on short notice by the lovely LadyFlash.

**Chapter 18 - I Wish to Wake in Your Dreams**

Crookshanks curled up next to the sleeping Potions Master, whose hand lightly drifted across the cat's fur. The cat's last waking thoughts focused on the distant chimes of the clock tower, and his hopes that life with the wizard would be better now.

T'was midnight on Samhain Eve and Severus stirred in his dreams, opening his eyes only seeing the dim light of his chambers and a sleeping Crookshanks by his side.

He felt strange, as if something wasn't quite right in his chambers. He moved to rise but a force pushed him gently back down onto his bed. "Severus, you should be sleeping," commented the soft, familiar voice.

"Hermione?" he croaked. "Gods, please tell me I've experienced nothing but a cruel nightmare."

"I cannot," she replied sadly.

Severus felt her hand stroke gently across his forehead. He tried to reach for her, but he felt too exhausted to move. He urgently focused his energies and blurted hoarsely, "I miss you," his loneliness palpable in his avowal.

"I know, I heard your call," she said quietly, her own heart breaking for him. "I miss you terribly, and I know all of this has been so very hard on you."

"I want to see you," he demanded, his voice craggy because it was difficult to speak at all.

Forcing his drowsy eyes open, he saw her setting on the edge of the bed wearing her old nightgown and he almost expected her to crawl under the covers to lie beside him, but he felt no pressure from a body there.

She leaned over him speaking earnestly, "Severus you must go to sleep. It is not good for you to be awake."

"No sleep," he growled fighting the fatigue.

"Oh Severus, you are impossibly stubborn," she scolded lightly.

She glanced down at the sleeping cat curled against his leg. Severus could hear the smile in her voice. "I am glad to see you are getting along with Crookshanks now, he does like you. He's only wanted your affection."

A smirk twitched on his lips. "Damn…cat…sheds," he whispered heavily.

"Sleep Severus," she said lightly as she bent over kissing his cheek. Her touch felt like a warm feather brushing his skin. It felt like home and hearth and heaven all at once.

"Want…want to be…with you," he gasped heavily and his eyes closed each word a burden upon his lungs.

"And you will be, eventually. I am always with you Severus but not the way you want me to be. You must heed Albus' counsel, you need to live and share your life given the time you have."

Severus felt comforting warmth originating from his hand and he forced his eyes open to see her holding it. "You are fading."

"Yes, my time is limited here," she acknowledged, then chided, "now sleep Severus and dream."

"How am I to accomplish what you ask?" he rasped trying to sound angry hoping to keep her just a few moments longer.

Although her voice was becoming more distant he heard her teasing quip, "Silly man, the solution is right under your nose!"

oOo

Crookshanks urgent yowls acted as Snape's alarm clock the following morning. Severus felt extremely tired and very comfortable in the bed, but the hands of the clock pointed to quarter past ten.

He figured if he didn't rise soon Albus would come looking for him, no doubt due to last night's events. His call had reached Hermione, but she was nothing like the Grey Lady. His heart beat rapidly as he remembered the conversation.

The cat meowed from the floor and lept upon the bed and proceeded boldly in making himself an utter nuisance in an attempt to rouse the wizard.

"Alright, enough, I'm getting up," groused Severus until he tried to rise from the bed. His left arm and leg were numb and the muscles in chest hurt as he nudged his body upright with his right elbow. Flexing the fingers in his left hand he knew something wasn't right.

He then swung his legs of the mattress, flexing his left foot. "Everything seems to work," he thought as he tried to stand, but he stumbled a bit before catching his balance by bracing is right arm against the wall.

It took him a few minutes to reach the fireplace on unsteady legs, grabbing a fist full of Floo powder from the pot on his mantle; he called "Pomfrey, Infirmary."

The green image of the healer appeared in the fireplace, "Yes Severus, did you complete those potions already?"

Snape took a deep breath and groaned at the sharp pain in his left lung. "Come through the Floo. Something is wrong,"

The mediwitch arrived instantly in a near run out of the hearth. She turned taking one look at Snape who was still wearing his ragged red nightshirt, his hair hanging limp in messy clumps as he bent over, clutching himself across his waist and using his right shoulder to prop himself against the mantle.

Poppy grabbed him by the waist and with the strength of supporting countless patients over the years escorted him quickly back to the bed. "Lay down. I need to determine what ails you," she commanded sternly, worried that he was too compliant.

The witches face contorted with thoughts and concerns as she ran through her battery of spells. "Your lifestyle has finally caught up to you," clucked the frowning witch, "I knew this would happen eventually, just like Albus you are!"

Before he could respond to her comment she spun around heading towards fireplace, grabbing some floo powder and yelling, "_Accio kit seventeen_."

Seconds later a box shot out of his fireplace and skidded to a halt a meter from his bed. He recognized the box and knew its contents since he made them. "How bad is it?" he asked firmly.

Her back creaked as she bent over the box plucking the bottles out of their cubbyholes. "Bad enough I'd say for a young wizard in this fifties," she admonished moving to his side and setting the potions up on the nightstand.

He scowled at her comment, and she crossed her arms frowning down at him. "Lovely that you are feeling better Severus, but let me put it to you straight. You are damn lucky to be here lying there thinking I exist as a mere inconvenience. Your arm and leg are numb because you had a mild stoke triggered by several small anginas," she lectured sternly before continuing in a more worried tone, "Lord only knows what kept you here. Now drink this before I hex you."

He drank the two sweet potions for blood replenishing and heart strengthening, leaving the dry bitter toxin removal for last. He moved to get out of bed.

"Where do you think you are going?" she demanded.

"I have things to do, a house to manage," he snapped.

"You will find that this little bout of ills won't allow for a quick rebound Severus. You need to give the toxin removal potion time to flush your system, your leg and arm won't be working for a while," she stated sympathetically while forcing him lay down.

"How long am I to be your prisoner Warden Pomfrey?" he asked with false congeniality.

Poppy snorted. "Three days minimum, more if I say so. You are lucky I don't send you to the hospital wing! Oh and by the way prisoner Snape, you are on rations. You are not to consume any more gravy or cream sauce, and no greasy food such as bacon, or sausages. Well, anyhow I will be sending you and the house-elves a list."

She got the last word if the frowning expression on surly Potions Master was any indication.

"I see we have an understanding then," she stated primly. "I will be informing Albus of your condition."

Severus turned away refusing to look at her and swiftly waved a dismissal with his good arm.

"Oh very well," she huffed with exasperation as she picked up her kit from the floor. "You there," she called to Crookshanks, "you keep an eye on him and let me know if he disobeys."

Snape could have sworn he saw the cat nod.


End file.
